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100 Words

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I’ve been trying the 100 words on a subject challenge. You have a word or a couple of words to start with and you go from there. It’s freeform and really fun. Don’t think too much about it, just launch forth and give it a go.

1. Olive Oil

Which came first, the olive or the oil? There they are, all lined up at the supermarket in variously labelled bottles, mostly made from dark green glass. Some people love the taste and some find it horrendous, it’s roughly the same as marmite lovers and haters. The olive is an insignificant little fruit harvested from the olive tree but a whole industry making olive oil derivatives runs on it. I wonder if they ever asked the tree if it minded being farmed. There they are, lined up in the orchard looking gravid with fruit. Expectant olives all in a row.

2. Home Page

Pages belong in a book and you can keep them at home. In dedicated libraries or stuffed under beds, there are various book depositories within a home. When you want a particular book, when you’re home, then you have to get up and search for it. No pressing Search and expecting the answer pronto within 0.12 seconds or less. You have to engage your brain now, albeit a painful process. Where did I effing leave it? Access internal filing cabinet. Tick tock, tock tick. Oh yes, by the bath tub and I’d got to chapter 17. Not sure which page.

3. Daily Mail

Our postman arrives at a sensible hour, 2 pm. No early rises for him, the slow morning is all his, along with a glass of sloe gin. At least that’s what I imagine happens. He addresses the bottle and unscrews the cap with a satisfying twist or three. Then he pours the topaz liquid into a crystal glass, kept especially for the occasion. The jinn goes down sloely, burning his throat slightly on the way. After a consequent nap, he dons his uniform and picks up the mail bag. He makes a slow exit straight into the fast lane.

4. Atlas Mountains

The Atlas Mountains are in Morocco, so they say. There’s a trio of ranges to choose from. Don’t forget to pack your unfriendly weather gear and Kendal Mint Cake in case of emergencies. There’s lots of exotic villages around them such as Sidi Badhaj and Oukaimeden. I’d expect a golden domed temple to be rising out of the ground nearby, surrounded on all sides by relatives of Indiana Jones. They’d be carrying useful archaeological implements such as trowels, spare chinos and leather whips. A map detailing the final resting place of the Ark of the Covenant would be useful, too.

5. My Cat

If there’s one thing my cat hates for dinner, it’s anything by Whiskas. She doesn’t appreciate economical cat food, she likes anything organic, preferably killed by her. Yesterday she presented me with a fish from my neighbour’s pond. To avoid having to explain about feline thieving yet again, I cooked the fish and fed it to my cat. She looked like her boat had come in and was purring all night. I tried one of the scraps, it was delicious. I borrowed my kid’s stickleback net and now I’m going to stake out my neighbour’s pond.

6. Heavily Processed

What’s the difference between heavily processed foods and some of the complicated dishes that elite chefs make? Not a lot. By the time they’ve finished producing their foams, gels, mayonnaise and chocolate soil for goodnessake, it’s just as processed as supermarket cereal and ice cream. According to the government, the supermarket stuff is bad for us. Food is meant to be processed. Would you like some salmonella with your pink chicken, sir? Heavily processed milk is called cheese. Heavily processed bread is called toast. You can combine these to get cheese on toast for the latest in ultra processed food.

Here’s some starters for you… Scruffy Dogs, Game of Thrones, Wall Mirror, Bunny Slippers, Plumbers, Brexit, Athletic Pursuits, Chocolate Mints, Uncomfortable Knickers, Hot Weather, Technology, The Tarot, Plastic Bags, Overtime, Loft Conversions, Mum Knows Best, Laundry Day.

nb – all photos are royalty free stock pictures and heavily processed 🙂

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Written by Moz Loordes

01/06/2019 at 4:48 pm

Posted in 100 Words

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